Before you speak, ask: Is it True? Kind? Necessary?
This triple filter test respects others, helping your words come across as thoughtful and supportive.
😌 Why It Matters
⬇️ Deeper Dive
True – We are so accustomed to communication that seeks to influence us, often making us skeptical of others’ intentions. Asking yourself if what you’re saying is true helps avoid spreading gossip and reduces the chances of people feeling manipulated or defensive. Truth builds trust and keeps conversations grounded in reality.
Kind – Power dynamics are often at play in everyday conversations, from parent-child to boss-employee interactions. When power is involved, defenses go up, and communication becomes strained. Speaking kindly, not as an instructor but as a supportive peer, lowers these defenses and reduces the stress that comes with power struggles. Kindness fosters psychological safety, creating a more open and productive environment.
Necessary – Sometimes, withholding information can seem kind, but it may prevent someone from growing or improving. This filter helps you decide when it’s important to be candid, even if the truth might be difficult to hear. Necessary communication is about focusing on what truly matters for the betterment of the situation and the person.
🏺 Origin
The origin of this triple filter test is unknown, though it has been attributed to Socratic philosophy, as well as teachings from Buddhism and Sufism. Regardless of its source, the wisdom remains a powerful guide for mindful communication.
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