Disagreement vs Misalignment

Disagreement vs Misalignment

“Shared understanding” is an everyday word in my team coaching. It’s so easy to get into positional talk and convincing mode, because when discussions heat up, it quickly becomes personal.

Well, if it’s going to be personal, make it personal all the way – settle it amicably. The question is, how do we settle those differences.

Think of the differences not as a “disagreement,” but as a “misalignment.”

Which actually is pretty much true for most discussions. The differences in opinion is not that far apart. Even if you want to get to point A to B in different ways, you are both still in agreement that you want to get to point A to B. It’s just that you each have different thoughts on how to get there.

So you are aligned on point A to B, but misaligned on how to get to point A to B. Now talk it out and find alignment on the latter. And you are whole.

Suspend assumptions, listen, show understanding, compare, talk, co-create a solution.

It could be that you both come up with a new path A”’-B”’. Or you agree that you try A’-B’ first, and if it doesn’t, try A”-B”. In any way, shared understanding is created.


I was inspired to write this post from reading https://blog.close.com/startup-misalignment by Steve Tartaglione. Thank you!