Receiving critical feedback is dreadful. Our defensive routines get triggered and however we might understand that the feedback giver is speaking with good intention, it’s still difficult to listen.
Try CALM – “Curious Active Listening Mindset“:
1. Calmly with curiosity, listen to understand
- Suspend assumptions
- Quiet the mind, no listening to respond, no parallel thinking
- Listen with no interruption, no interpreting while listening
2. Playback what was said
- Acknowledge what was heard
3. Ask for support
- Differences are ok, voice back as necessary
- Ask to co-create solutions
4. Agree to speak again
With a Curious Active Listening Mindset, there’s a better chance at overcoming the feeling that you are under a character attack, and instead be able to listen to feedback genuinely on your actions and behavior.
After all, it’s not you that’s the problem. It’s just a matter of adjusting what and how you do things so that others will more appreciate you.